How to approach assisted living with elderly friends and family

It’s possible you may start to think about assisted living before your elderly friend or relative does. In some circumstances they may feel unwilling to discuss this with you due to fear of losing their independence.

While it may seem easier to save the conversation for another day, it’s better to discuss this sooner rather than later. Here are some pointers on how you can approach the situation.

Get support

If you have siblings or other family members to share your thoughts with, it may be helpful to have a short discussion with them about assisted living facilities. Not only will these allow you to release some of your anxiety, you may find that they have helpful suggestions as how you can approach the subject.

Support when searching for elderly care homes near me is also available from Abbeyfield care home staff by calling 01325 369673 or arranging a call-back from us here

Be honest

Sometimes, elderly people can feel backed into a corner when discussing moving into an elderly care home so its’s important to stay sensitive to their feelings.

Take the time to discuss the options with them and involve them in the process of finding assisted living in Darlington as much as possible. If they can, it may be a good idea to ask them to look at their options independently.

These difficult conversations can be daunting, and it may be tempting to make promises you can’t keep just to make the person feel better. In the long term this may cause feelings of betrayal or being let down if you can’t keep these promises.


Try to see help your elderly friend or relative see the positives of assisted living. Maybe write up a list to ease their fears. These can include:

  • Increased security.
  • More opportunity to socialise.
  • Fewer responsibilities.
  • Better accessibility such as widened doors or a wet room bathroom.
  • 24 hour on-call system.
  • Daily, homemade meals.


Allow your friend or relative the opportunity to visit any care homes they or you may have shortlisted so that they can see the benefits for themselves. Take the time to discuss your visit and have questions ready to ask staff members, they will be happy to help you with any queries you may have.

Your friend or relative may need time to process all the information, so you may find they need some space to reflect on everything before a final decision is made. Remain positive and support them during this time and you are likely to find that they become enthusiastic toward the idea of assisted living.

If you are looking for a Darlington nursing home or information on residential homes near you, more information can be found here. If you’d like to speak to us directly, you can fill out our contact form or call 01325 369673.




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